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Jewish Life & Celebrations

Bar/Bat Mitzvah

Selections from a Mitsva service

Rabbi Sherwin Wine
The Mitsva ceremony is an affirmation of the equality of boys and girls, as reflected in selections from a mitsva ceremony by Rabbi Sherwin Wine.
Sherwin T. Wine, Celebration, Prometheus Books, 2003, pp 330-354.

The cycle of life is like the cycle of the seasons. It never stops. It expresses itself in the story of every living thing. It repeats itself in the biography of every human being. Although we are wiser and more powerful than any other living being, we are, like all other creatures, obedient to an eternal rhythm. The winter of the womb is followed by the spring of youth. The summer of maturity yields to the autumn of decay. We cannot remain forever young. Whether we accept or resist reality, we must grow up.

To be thirteen is to stand between two worlds, the past of childhood and the promise of adolescence. The middle years of teenage are often very hard to cope with. They are a testing ground for adult life. If we are too dependent on others, we must learn to become more independent. If we think too little of our talents, we must train ourselves to respect them. If we are afraid of the future, we must grow accustomed to live with the surprise of challenge. Adolescence can be wasted in fear and laziness so that growing up is too painful to bear. Or it can be a time of happy excitement when new responsibility becomes a pleasure and new learning becomes our hope for success.

A religion is a philosophy of life. Our religion is our philosophy of life. It is the set of principles and beliefs by which we seek to guide our lives. It is that set of ideas and ideals which we seek to transmit to our children. It is that combination of hopes and aspirations which defines the future we try to achieve.

Our religion determines the way we see reality, both the reality outside and the reality within ourselves. What we truly believe about ourselves and others, what we truly feel about our power and the power of other people controls what we do. If we think of ourselves as nothing, then we shall be nothing. If we think of ourselves as strong, then we shall act with strength.

Honesty begins with behavior. What we really think is reflected in what we do. Too often we imagine that we know what we want and believe. We check our conscious mind and encounter numberless ideas and convictions which claim to be the essence of our being. But they are obvious frauds. Our tongue speaks love, but our hands speak hate. Our mouth exudes serenity, but our eyes exude fear. Our lips utter friendship, but our whole body screams anger. We feel sincere and imagine that we are sincere. We feel honest and imagine that we are honest.

If we listen to our hearts alone, we shall never discover the truth. It is only when we coldly watch our own behavior that we confront reality. Our deepest convictions about ourselves and others can never really be hidden. They boldly proclaim themselves through our actions. While our mouths spin tales of fantasy, our bodies speak with honesty. When we plead that we cannot act on our own beliefs, we are self-deceived. We always act on what we believe. When we run away from what we say we love, then our love is an illusion. And when we embrace what we say we hate, then our hatred is unreal. We simply are what we do.

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