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Jewish Life & Celebrations

Funeral

Readings for a Funeral or Memorial Service

© These excerpts from a funeral service were created by Rabbi Peter Schweitzer for the The City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism in New York.

CANDLELIGHTING

Baruch ha-or ba-o-lam.
Radiant is the light within the world.

Baruch ha-or ba-ah-dam.
Radiant is the light within each person.

Standing before us are candles to be lit in tribute to __________.

[To be used when each candle is assigned a separate value]
Each candle has been assigned a value which exemplifies the principles of ________?s life. They are:

(Example: Love, Joy, Creativity, Music, Family, Learning, Laughter)
[To be used when only a few values are chosen]
The candles have been assigned values which exemplify the principles of ___________?s life. They are:

(Example: Zikaron - Memory, Chaim - Life, and Tikva - Hope)

(The candles are lit and the lighters names can be introduced collectively)

May the memory of ___________ bring inspiration to our lives and hope for life renewed.


DEATH IS AN INTRUSION
by Sherwin Wine

Death is an intrusion.
Sometimes it arrives at the end of a long life when we are waiting for it. But sometimes it comes unexpectedly, interrupting young lives and wasting hopes and dreams. People we love are taken from our midst too soon, and we struggle to deal with their absence.
Destiny is often unkind. Since it is a mindless force, we cannot praise it or blame it. We simply accept what we cannot change.
But people are different from destiny. We have hearts and minds. We have hopes and dreams. We have love and loving attachments. Above all, we have the power of courage, the courage to affirm the value of life in the face of death.
The fates are beyond our control. But our response to the fates is in our hands. We do not know what will happen, but we do know that amid all the uncertainty, we have the courage to love.
Those we remember also had that courage. Love is the power that binds the living and the dead.


ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8 (ADAPTED)

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose on this earth.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which was planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, a time to build up.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones;
and a time to gather stones together.
A time to embrace;
and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.



(Walt Whitman, Song of Myself)

I am of old and young, of the foolish as much as the wise,
Regardless of others, ever regardful of others,
Maternal as well as paternal, a child as well as a man,
Stuffed with the stuff which is coarse, and stuffed with the stuff that is fine.

I bequeath myself to the dirt, to grow from the grass I love
If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles.
Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere, waiting for you.

A PSALM TO MY FRIEND
by Rabbi Peter Schweitzer

Sing to him, sing praises to him,
tell of all his wonderful works.
O give thanks, proclaim his name,
make known his deeds among all people

Make a joyful noise, all the earth
Break forth into joyous song
Let the sea roar, and all that fills it,
the world and those who dwell in it
let the floods clap their hands
let the hills sing for joy together
let us raise our voices in joy together
make a joyful noise, sing a new song!

Sing praises with the lyre,
with the lyre and the sound of melody
With trumpets and the sound of the horn,
with the sounds of children and with their innocence,
make a joyful noise, sing a new song!

Praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with guitar and bass!
Praise him with strings and a pipe!
Praise him with crashing cymbals!
Praise him with the sound of the shofar!

O give thanks, proclaim his name,
make known his deeds among all people.
Sing to him, sing praises to him,
make a joyful noise, sing a new song!

WHEN YOU ARE BEREAVED, IT'S ALL RIGHT TO -
adapted for Mickie Mandel / by Rabbi Peter Schweitzer

Scream in the shower.
Howl at the moon.
Cry anywhere you like.
Misplace your glasses.
Forget your own name.
Beat up on a pillow.
Stomp on the ground.
Avoid certain restaurants if it hurts.
Eat cold pizza for breakfast and eggs for dinner (as long as you eat).
Write him a letter.
Bake him a cake.
Smell his clothes.
Leave his things the way they are for as long as you like.
Say his name, just to hear the sound.
Talk to others about him.
Tell loved ones what you need.
Say no when you feel like it.
Cancel plans if you want.
Have a bad day.
It's all right to hurt.

And one day when you are ready it's all right to laugh again.
Have a good time.
Look forward to tomorrow.
Go to places you had been avoiding.
Go for a day, a week, and even a month without crying.
Celebrate the holidays.
Forgive those who failed you.
Learn something new.
Look at his pictures and remember with happiness not pain.
Go on with your life.
Cherish the memories.
And one day when it's time it's all right to sing again.
And one day when it’s time it’s all right to teach again.
And one day when it’s time it’s all right to celebrate life again.

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